FAQs

Contained Herein
The Rules of Governance
Pertaining to the Embarkation and Voyage
Of The Lady Cutler
And the Conduct of Her Crew

Be there water closets on board?

Aye.

Can I smokes me pipe?

Aye. Out on deck ye can.

Can I disembark if I needs to during the cruise?

Aye. The Lady Cutler will pass two piers during the cruise at Footscray and Williamstown. If ye gets off, however, ye'll not get back on.

Can I purchase me ticket on the gang plank?

Nay - This event has SOLD OUT.

Are Ninjas allowed?

Nay. Any ninjas attempting to board, even if they have a ticket, will be dropped in the Yarra and keel-hauled.

Be Swords allowed?

Only if they are not made of metal and do not have edges that can pierce skin. Please be aware that transporting swords in public can get ye arrested by police so make sure yer weapon is either obviously fake, or wrapped up or bagged. And that goes for yer sword, too!

Is there a barrrrrr?

Yarrrrrr!

Can I brings me own grog?

Nay, Captain's Orders. There's a sizable barrr on board to serve all yer refreshment needs, yer swarthy drunkard!

Are tickets limited?

Aye. Sold Out.

Must I wear a costume?

Aye. Landlubbers will not be allowed to embark!

Must I wear shoes?

Aye. Perchance there be a smashed glass on deck, ye'll not want the shards to be entering yer skin. Safety first!

Must me costume be pirate-themed?

Aye! If ye has a burning desire to wear somewhat else, this may not be the cruise for ye!

Can I bring a pet?

Perhaps. We shall need to ask special permission from the Captain of the Lady Cutler. If yer critter gets the horrors and leaps overboard or gets trampled to death that be yer own responsibility and ye will be made to sign a blood oath to that effect.

May I bring a child?

Nay. Sea-faring adults of eighteen years of age and over only, because of the barrrr!

May I bring me own food and sustenance?

Nay. There'll be a variety of finger foods and sweets for yer enjoyment, and the galley will be open selling hot food.

Is there a cloakroom?

Nay. Bring as little with ye as possible, and secure it to yer person. Any items that fall from ye may be lost
to Davy Jones' Locker.

Will there be a band?

Aye, performers a-plenty! See guests in the menu.

Who be performin' on board?

A variety of entertainers are being kidnapped and stuffed into old potato sacks for your delight and amusement as we speak. See which Special Guests been nabbed so far.

What will the music be?

Piratey! Every shanty, jig, and stirring adventurous score we can find will feature. DJ Omega Howell will be mixing a rousing rally of treacherous tunes and bawdy ballads to keep yer mugs of ale swingin' and yer feet a-jiggin'. If you have music suggestions or requests, send us an Ahoy!

Any refunds?

Nay. If ye cannot board yeself, give ye ticket to a mate.

What happens if I miss the boat?

Ye will have to swim. The Lady Cutler waits for no man!

What happens if it rains?

The boat gets wet, but ye will be dry inside the cabin.

Where can I find a costume?

Check out our comprehensive Costume Shop List for Victoria, or better yet, make yer own! (This link will open a new window)

What happens if the cruise is cancelled for some reason?

Arrangements will be made with all guests who have purchased tickets. The cruise will either be rescheduled, your money refunded, or your tickets exchanged for another Guild of the Golden Owl event.

Will there be security guards on board?

Aye. Quite a few of 'em. Dangerous behaviour will not be tolerated.

Will there be cake?

By the powers, ye ask a lot of damn questions! Yes, there will be cake!